Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My Journey to Emmaus!



“Emmaus never happened; Emmaus always happens” says John Dominic Crossan, a contemporary New Testament scholar of great repute! I too have made that journey! No. To be exact, I have not made that journey. I am in that journey right now.

In that journey Jesus often comes as a stranger. He, then, nudges me to take him as a fellow traveller, walking with me, listening to all my questions, feeling my fears and anxieties. Gradually, and sometimes suddenly, he turns into a kind of a wandering rabbi, a guru, teaching the obvious and dispelling that darkness. By the time it is late evening and the journey not over, I almost always consider him as a good friend to invite him into my tent.

Jesus, that wanderer, is a unique personality! He, whom I invite as my guest, ends up being my host. And the aura around him as he breaks the bread and passes the cup always unsettles me making me to want him more. But then he disappears leaving me unable to close my eyes for a very, very long time in the night.

The images of Jesus in my mind are never static. They keep changing. Sometime I look at him as a great hero mighty in word and deed before both God and human. Him as a Crucified Prophet is one that is foremost in my mind. He, of course is a puzzling mystery who appears and disappears. But when I exchange notes with his earlier disciples Peter, Cleopas, Mary Magdalene and other disciples in Jerusalem, Jesus becomes a resurrected Lord in my heart!

I am learning, now, to change my notion of Jesus, as I continue to travel Emmaus, then, is not wrong. I walk, I go through changing scenes of life, I encounter new events, I meet with new people, I read, I talk, I debate, I hear new accents, I sing new songs, I eat new food, and I am transformed both in my thoughts about Jesus and my life with him and in him. And that is the way God of the Holy Spirit, or the risen Christ, works within me. I realize, for sure, I must without any hesitation remain open to such transformation!

Spirituality, I am gathering, is a journey. Spirituality is a long walk. It is not a “one shot performance”, either in the Sunday school, or Confirmation Class, or reading a single book on spirituality, or reading all the books of a single author, or attending a conference or a single seminary training. It is a continuous Emmaus journey! I learn; I re-learn like Cleopas and his friend. I am re-trained in my discipleship to Christ, the risen Lord!

And in that journey, I am convinced, I must leave a little space for a companion to walk with me and talk with me! And that companion may, as I grow in my spirit, become an “angel” or “Jesus”!

That journey, I am learning, is training for me, where my mind and heart gets cultured in “hospitality”. This hospitality enhances my “seeing and perceiving” the “risen Christ reality” around me, present in a concentrated manner in that which I long to dismiss as “others” and “strangers”. This hospitality includes my careful listening to the outsider demanding that I put away from my faith and culture concepts and words such as “stranger” and “outsider”. Without that renunciation I cannot retain and rejoice within my circle that “risen Christ reality”!

This hospitality presupposes humility to listen. In this hospitality I am not the one, like that padre, provides the answer. I raise my questions and wait for the answers; I am willing to be corrected! In this I do not ask questions to prove my point. I ask questions. And I am open to the answers, even when it comes from a stranger.

This hospitality does not try to control my guest; in this I getting used to letting my guest controlling, if necessary, switching roles; putting me completely vulnerable in the hand of the stranger! There is “vulnerability” in being open to a “stranger”! With God, I know, I must be prepared to “loose my control”!

In this journey I am learning to enjoy such “incredible events” to take control of me and the rest of my life. I let it guide my next move, or my continuing journey! I have no plans. In fact, I have dropped all my plans of work, rest and relaxation in Emmaus. And if I return to Jerusalem I return only to exchange notes with those who are on the journey.

And that journey is impossible without that hospitality, which interferes with my comfort zone! Yes, it is a kind of hospitality that calls for a letting go of my self, my ego, my plan, my hidden agendas; it is a kind of hospitality that expects from me to cease micromanaging others; it is a kind of hospitality that readily and spontaneously switches roles; it is a kind of hospitality that is dictated and directed by the “risen Christ reality”; it is a kind of hospitality that prays, truly, “may your will be done”.

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